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You know you are a Conspiracy Theorist when...


 Adapted from: You Know You Are a Conspiracy Theorist If…

You are capable of critical thinking.

You distrust mainstream media.

You like nature.

You think it’s a good idea to spend the Friday after Thanksgiving with your family rather than camping outside Best Buy to get a cheap plasma television made in China.

You think it’s a little strange that WTC building 7 came down at free fall speed on 9/11 yet it was never hit by a plane.

You think that drones in America might not be for Al Qaeda.

You would like to be able to get on a plane without having to engage in a mandatory radiation bath and digital strip search.

You have read a book in the past year.

You think you have the right to protest.

You think the War on Terror is a scam.

You think the War on Drugs is a scam.

You think the anger directed at America from the Middle East could possibly be related to our foreign policy rather than hating how amazingly free we are.

You think the National and Labour are exactly the same on the important issues affecting our country.

You think believing in the Treaty of Waitangi, tino rangatirantanga or mana motuhake does not constitute a terrorist act.

You have heard of the Bill of Rights and can even name what some of them are.

You question whether the government loves you.

You think it's disturbing that senior police are continually calling for police to have easier access to guns, while citizens who want to possess a gun are treated with increasing suspicion, from the Thorp report in 1997 to the Operation 8 raids of 2007.

You don’t own a television, and if you do, all you watched was TVNZ7 until the fuckers shut it down.

You don’t think the GCSB is the name of Kesha’s latest single.

You think rich, powerful and connected people should be subject to the rule of law and go to jail if they commit crimes. Even if they are bankers and work at JP Morgan or Goldman Sachs.

You think corporations aren’t people.

You think Warren Buffet is a phony and a crony capitalist.

You don’t care that Warren Buffet likes cherry coke, hamburgers and ice cream.  He’s still a bad guy.

You think politicians that push for war should be sent to fight on the front lines.  If they are unable, their children should go.

You want your food to be labeled GMO so that you can make your own decisions on what you are consuming.

You grow your own food.

You buy raw milk.

You think food and energy should be included in inflation calculations.

You know that the New Zealand Government borrows money at interest from international banks, money whose value is backed by the common resources and productivity of its citizens, instead of spending it into existence to create and maintain public infrastructure and create jobs with real value and dignity. 

If you answered yes to more than five of the above, you might be a conspiracy theorist.  You also may be on the government’s terror watch list.  Be very alarmed and report it to the authorities immediately should you discover your neighbors engaged in such uncivilized thought. 

Best of luck comrades

Tux image courtesy of:



Well I can certainly tick

Well I can certainly tick more than 5, almost all of them in fact. Therefore, I must be insane! Ah, but the ignorant always label the intelligent or the revolutionaries 'crazy' or 'conspiracy theorists' until they succeed, then they realize we were right all along. I bloody hope that happens soon, for everybody's sake